Treading too Deep

[picture 1 from tumblr (http://c-o-t-i-d-i-a-n-o.tumblr.com/post/85364752601) and picture from google images (http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/02/07/the-mbti-changed-my-life-forever-story-of-a-gay-infj/)%5D

Here’s another post I wrote about a year ago and am uploading now. Enjoy! This is a high school senior writing, just so you have an idea of the perspective I was writing from at the time. I was slightly more anxious than I am now as well. No, i’m not this analytical and don’t care as much about philosophy. I honestly think it’s overrated.

I’m an INFJ, one of the rare types. Myers Briggs personality test is long, but very accurate.

After going mentally insane from trying to figure myself out through psychology, I’ve come to understand myself a little better…no help to psychology. Curiosity kills the cat. I’m no cat, but i’m pretty sure I’ve killed myself mentally from over-analyzing, over-criticizing, and mentally tearing myself apart more than 7 times. Oh, and did I mention my western philosophy class? Philosophy is arduous and exhausting.

Shallow things keep me from the parts so deep that I drown every time. One can’t keep swimming away from their problems. Avoiding deep waters also keeps a person from experiencing the deep and meaningful things that God has in store for them. When you walk to close to the edge of truth and stand on the fine line between truth and lies, you will fall every time. No matter what you tell yourself about being strong enough, you cannot resist the devil without having God in your heart. Luke warm water. Not hot, not cold. But the shallow, menial, insincerity of a luke warm person. I attempt to solve my problems by convincing myself I have none or that it makes me different, yet none of those answers are satisfying. It’s the hole we all feel inside ourselves, the feeling of a lack of worth, purpose, and

When you dwell on the lies for so long, explore what you know to be false, go far into the deeper waters, you start to believe them, you will drown. “Do not conform to the patterns of this world” God says. You are called to be different. Let others do what they want to do. Don’t try to be like the cool kids and start compromising your values, don’t start believing lies when you know the truth. Don’t compare yourself to others because you were created “fearfully and wonderfully.” Don’t ever believe you’re less than the person God created you to be, unique and beautiful. That’s why beautiful has be you in it. There’s only one you and you were called to make a difference in this world.

Sincerely,

Sabrina ā¤

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